Sand's Treasure
by joygrl49
Summary: Shikamaru and the whole gang set out on a mission. They not only encounter crazy problems but love awaits them at every corner! A total crackfic . A few couples...you'll see.
1. A New Mission

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto so um… don't try to sue me please.

Warning: If you don't like the couple Shika/Tema then stop reading. Oh and Sasuke is back from his little adventure with Orochimaru. You can email me for the whole story and plot of how he escaped. Oh well actually I'll just post it on fanfiction.

RU- By the way, I kinda made fun of Naruto's English catch-phrase, believe it. So if you like Believe it, DO NOT READ!

A/N: I took this off to revise a few things.

Well if you decided to keep reading, ENJOY!

"Alright!" screamed Naruto, "Let's get this party started!"

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed using his favorite word, troublesome.

"Naruto you need to calm down. We're only going to visit Kakashi-sensei in the infirmary." Choji stated.

Choji, Shikamaru, Neji, and Naruto walked down Konoha's crowded streets heading for the Konoha Hospital where, as Choji just stated, they were going to give Kakashi-sensei a little visit.

"Eh? Kakashi-sensei, you can't be serious! What about Sasuke-teme?" bellowed Naruto.

"Naruto, Sasuke has to go too. Listen, I don't know a lot about the mission. All I know is that it's an A ranked and all of you, including Sasuke, are going to the Sand Village to help the Kazekage's siblings. They plan to look for the Sand Treasure. If you want more information, ask Tsuande, she's in charge." explained Kakashi.

"We have to help Kankuro and Temari? What a scary and troublesome woman." Shikamaru complained.

"Let's go. We have to find Sasuke." Neji suggested.

The fearsome foursome waved goodbye to Kakashi and they headed out of the Hospital.

"Where do you think Sasuke-teme is hiding?" Naruto asked loudly.

"Naruto, if we knew where he was, would we be looking for him?" Neji asked sarcastically.

"Ehh…what do you mean by that Neji?" Naruto asked stupidly.

"Never mind. You are so stupid Naruto…" Neji muttered under his breath so Naruto couldn't hear.

A few hours later they found Sasuke sitting in an emo corner of an emo looking alley.

"Hey Sasuke-teme! Tsuande-baa-chan has a mission for us! It's A ranked and it's gonna be awesome! Believe it!" Naruto cried, pumping his fists into the air.

Sasuke looked up at Naruto and glared, "You're disrupting my emoness."

"Emoness? I'll show you emoness! Believe it!"

"Oh my god Naruto, stop saying believe it!" Neji complained like a teenage girl hearing important gossip news.

"Believe it!"

"This is getting so troublesome."

"Believe it Shikamaru!"

The guys finally got Naruto to stop saying "believe it" and got Sasuke, reluctantly, joined their team.

Now that Sasuke joined the group, they went to the Hokage's building to meet the rest of the team. Tenten, Hinata, Ino, and Sakura were waiting for them there.

"Hmmm. Everyone's here now. Good. Okay, your mission is A ranked so you can't fail this. Understood?" Everyone nodded except Naruto who shouted, "Believe Tsuande-baa-chan!"

"Okay…" Tsuande continued, "You have to go to the Sand Village to help Temari and Kankuro find a treasure. I know it's not usual that I have four girls and four boys to go on a mission together but I believe it is necessary."

"Ok…now I'm scared. I have to work with four annoying girls, a lazy ass a.k.a Shika, a fatso a.k.a Choji, and the worst ninja in the history of Konoha a.k.a Naruto." Sasuke whined like a little girl.

"Ehh!? What do you mean the worst ninja ever? I'll show you who is the worst ninja, Sasuke-teme! Believe it!"

Naruto charged at Sasuke with full speed and then suddenly stopped a few feet in front of Sasuke. Naruto looked behind him to see Shikamaru's shadow holding his legs.

"How troublesome Naruto."

"Hmph. I guess Shikamaru's Shadow Jutsu was useful for once." Neji smirked.

"Sigh, you are too troublesome to fight Neji."

"Stop it! You have to use teamwork to complete this mission. That's why it's A Ranked." Tsuande yelled at the ninjas.

"But, Hokage-sama, Neji can't work with no one!" Ino commented.

"Well Ino, at least I'm not on the South Konoha Diet! Or have bad grammar!" Neji countered.

"You wanna fight girly boy?"

"Girly boy?" Neji yelled, getting ready to do ninjustsu.

"Yeah, your hair is longer than a girl's!"

"G-g-guys…p-please d-don't f-f-fight…" Hinata stammered weakly.

"Hey! Don't tease Neji. He's the most awesome, coolest, bestest, strongest, cutes-," Tenten said.

"We know! Just shut up already!" Naruto interrupted.

"Gosh, TenTen you're obsessed!" Sakura teased.

"What about you and Sasuke-kun?" Tenten countered.

"IT'S NOT AN OBSESSION! IT'S CALLED A CRUSH!" Sakura screamed as she went to chase Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, aren't you happy we're on a mission together."

"Whatever Sakura. Just let me be emo."

"Whatever you say Sasuke-kun!"

"Neji-kun your hair is awesome! Don't listen to Ino!" Tenten cried.

"NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU TENTEN! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A LAST NAME!" Ino screamed at her.

" FINE! I'm going to my emo corner to suck my thumb and cry." Tenten said matter-of-factly.

While she was on her way there, Sasuke screamed, "Hey that's MY emo corner Tenten! Get out!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"I'm more emoer than you!" Sasuke teased.

"No way!" Tenten cried, "My mom said I was emo!" Suddenly, the whole room got quiet.

"Ummm, okay…," Shikamaru said, breaking the silence.

"I-I- I think w-we sh-should g-go…" Hinata suggested.

Silently, the team of eight people exited the Hokage's office. Tsuande leaned back in her chair and asked Shizune, "Why do I have a feeling deep down in my gut that this mission will be a failure?"

Well? How is was it? I know, it's not that good. Please review because if you don't, I won't write anymore. Yes, that's the way I am. Feel free to criticize. I don't mind because I want to make my story better. Thanks so much for reading. I love you all! Oh and if you're mad at me for making Sasuke emo, don't be. Cause Amber edited for me but I have to agree. Sasuke is awesomely emo!!

Thanks to my great editor, Randomness Unleased. You've helped me so much. Cries and hugs you

RU- I'm called a beta…. –sweatdrops-. Don't blame Joy for any of the editing mistakes there may be. Criticize me cause I'm the one doing it. Now if you want to criticize the plot go ahead…


	2. Arrival at the Sand

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters…so please don't sue. And if you do, I'll sue you back! Joking

Thanks for the reviews! One of them made me so giddy and happy, I couldn't wait to write another one.

Chapter 2

I know my characters are OOC and I forgot to mention that. So I'm going to warn you now. My characters, most of them, are OOC and for those who don't know what OOC is, it's out of character. Tenten's emo, Naruto's back to "Believe it", and eventually Hinata is going to be OOC. I also forgot to add to the genre, comedy. Stupidity in the making. So I changed it and now the genre is Romance/Humor. With all that out of the way, enjoy.

The team of eight headed off towards the Sand Village. Tenten was still arguing with Sasuke about who was "emoer". Sakura and Ino were both trying to make themselves look good in front of Sasuke while bickering. Shikamaru was trying to think of a strategy but with Naruto saying "Believe it, believe it" behind him, even the genuis couldn't concentrate, and… Hinata was admiring Naruto's backside.

'Ohhh… that's a nice ass. Wait, did I just think that', Hinata suddenly stopped and started pounded her head on the tree.

"Hinata are you okay?" asked Choji, with a questioning look in his big, black, fat eyes. 0.o

"Huh?" Hinata stepped back, fell off the branch, looking like she was having a seizure as she fell, and then was caught by drums please Gaara?!

Gaara swung by much looking like Tarzan and caught Hinata, bridal style. "Gaara-san."

Gaara held the usual look on his face. The usual, bored, emo-ish, yet so cute in so many ways look. "Hmph."

"Don't hmph me mister." Hinata said back. What is wrong with her today? Yea, she's one of my OOCs.

Gaara was a little surprised by her comeback. The last time he met her which I think was never, she was shy and closed. Now she was…well… not.

"Oy Gaara! What are you doing here?" Came a familiar voice back from the trees.

"To come and find you." Gaara replied to the rather annoying yet welcoming voice from Naruto.

Gaara climbed back up to the treetops and placed Hinata down. She dusted herself off like she was touched by a monster which she kinda was but you know, Naruto has a monster inside him too. She quickly joined the others whilst Gaara heard Tenten whisper about how Gaara was a freak. 'I'm not a freak,' he thought, 'I rock!' He stuck out his tongue at Tenten.

"Uh…Gaara, what are you sticking your tongue at?" Asked Neji.

Gaara realized that nobody heard his thoughts and he probably looked like a dumb idiot. "It's cause he's a dumb idiot," teased Ino.

"Why you little--," Gaara began before Naruto interrupted him.

"Lead the way Gaara!" Naruto yelled, pointing west.

"We're going that way," Sakura corrected, pointing her finger in the opposite direction of Naruto's.

"Believe it!"

" Wait, so you're here to take us to the Sand Village? I thought you were the Kazekage now. Shouldn't you be there?" Shikamaru asked. The others looked at him funnily. It was like him to remember this kind of stuff that Tsunade had told them a long time ago. I realized it wasn't that long. Just been a long time since I wrote that last chapter.

"Not really…I came to inform you that Temari and Kankuro have already left. They're heading to the Hidden Mist Village. I gotta fly. Ja ne. For all those Japanese incompetent people, Ja ne means see ya. That's what you learn from over 1000 episodes of anime. Gaara left in a haste. Obviously ready to get away from the crazy group and back to his sweet homeland, the Hidden Sand Village.

"Wait, but I thought…"Naruto began.

"Well, what you thought was wrong!" Sakura accused.

"Can we please just leave?" Sasuke asked.

"Um…ok." Sakura said. "Hey Sasuke, wanna fly over trees together, sweetheart?"

"I'd rather die." Sasuke replied.

"Oh that's a great idea. Believe it!" Just guess who that is.

"Shut the hell up Naruto. I can't stand 'Believe it! Believe it' anymore," Ino said. "And Sakura, FYI: I'm Sasuke's girlfriend."

"Eh?! I thought I was Sasuke's girlfriend. I mean, we're so emo together, it's like we're made for each other!" Tenten, trying to act emo-ish, said.

'Why can't they fight over me? I'm so much cuter than Sasuke. Believe it! Oh, wait, that's not my line. Don't write that, Joy. You know that's Naruto's stupid line,' Neji thought. Sorry Neji, this is MY story.

'How troublesome.'

'I'm hungry.'

'I don't accept your apology.' That's Neji.

'I'm soooo emo I even scare myself.' Tenten, not Sasuke.

'Believe it!'

Yea back to the story.

"Ca-can we ju-just move on p-please," Hinata said, over from her mood swing. (1)

"Yea guys we have a mission to complete," Neji said.

"But wait guys! I have to do some things first!" Tenten screamed.

"What?" Shikamaru asked.

"I have to um… well you know… what all emo people do. (2)," Tenten replied.

Everyone sweat dropped and started to run off toward the Hidden Mist Village. Obviously, not wanting Tenten to catch up to them, they ran at top speeds.

It's true, Tenten had caught up with them. How sad. Anyway, the group had reached the Hidden Mist Village. They met up with Kankuro and Temari about a hour ago.

The story goes like this:

"Ahhh it's beautiful!" Sakura said, amazed. "It's the perfect place to share a first…kiss, Sasuke-kun."

"What?!" Sasuke backed up and tried to push Sakura away but she hung like a leech wanting to suck up all your blood or in this case, all Sasuke's love. If he had any.

Ino tried to pick Sakura off so she could grab onto Sasuke. "Just leave me alone please!" Sasuke screamed.

Both Ino and Sakura sunk into their sad, pouting faces but once they saw the humongous shopping center, well let's just say their moods changed. "Come on Hinata! Let's go shopping, girlfriend!" Ino screamed.

"Do you think they have a food court?" Choji asked.

"Duh! This is like the biggest mall ever!" Sakura shouted.

So Choji, Ino, Sakura, and Hinata walked (ran) to the mall and left Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Neji to fend for themselves.

"I think they forgot the mission." Shikamaru said.

"More like the author forgot." Neji accused. Do you have something against me? You're so mean. You realize I can just erase you from the story!

"Yea? Let's see you try." Neji countered back to… me.

"Believe it!" Naruto screamed so loudly the people walking around started looking and whispering.

"Stop embarrassing me!" Sasuke whispered, loudly into Naruto's ear.

"Wait a second guys. Aren't we missing someone?" Shikamaru finally figured it out.

"No, the girls and Choji went to the mall." Neji said. Ha, your wrong, Neji

"We're missing Tenten." Shikamaru countered.

"Ohhhh, believe it!" Naruto screamed once again.

"Hey guys." A familiar girl voice said.

"Temari-san! And Kankuro-kun!" Naruto screamed.

"'Sup Naruto." Kankuro said.

"Hi Shikamaru." Temari walked over to the group of boys (mainly Shikamaru).

"Temari." Shikamaru greeted back.

"Um… you guys might want to rest. The hotel room is west of here. Follow me." Temari started walking while the boys followed her.

"What about Choji and the rest?" Neji asked. "And what about Tenten?"

"I'll get them. Let me guess, mall?" Kanky said.

"Well actually Tenten's lost."

"Oh."

"Yea, she's not important but if you see her just tell her to go to where Temari's leading us, ok?" Neji really didn't care about Tenten because she was an annoying, emo-obsessed, loser who loved him and he really didn't want to deal with her.

"Sure thang man." And Kanky disappeared in a puff of smoke.

A/N: Yea, boring chapter. I couldn't really concentrate with all the projects and stuff swarming around me.

(1): Hinata is OOC if you hadn't already noticed but she has these occasional mood swings. You'll see and understand in the later chapters.

(2): What emo people do is cut themselves and they wear make-up. I'm not an emo expert but I do know they cut themselves.

Things will start heating up in the next chapter, I promise. Oh, and an opinion would be nice. I'm trying to keep up with my other story and I'm thinking of just stopping this story for some time to work on Lost Memories because nobody's making any reviews for this story (. And also, it WOULD be funny if I changed up the couples a little bit. You know, boyXboy and possible girlXgirl. But I probably won't since I don't like writing that stuff. Opinions and cookies!!!


	3. A Weird Filler

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Shut it.

This is probably one of my favorite stories to work on because I have absolutely no clue where this is going. I just let me hands take the storyline somewhere. Enjoy my crackfic.

Chapter 3

"No, get that. That's so cute on you. Ohhh, pink is such a good color on you….'course it's better on me," said Sakura, pointing to a pink frilly shirt for Hinata. Ino was busy looking at the swimwear.

"Sakura, you're such a airhead!" Ino accused.

Another young girl lay hidden within the bushes of the mall. If you were a passer-byer, you would think she was from the funny farm and had escaped. Covered in dirt and cuts, her eyes were laid upon the three girls and one special little boy. Choji, to be exact.

_Now's your chance. You love him and as He says, "If you love him enough, he'll love you back." No, that's not the way it goes. And what if He is wrong. He's never wrong though. Wait. I'm confusing myself._

She carefully stepped out of her hiding place, afraid to trip on the steps, and made her way to the rotund boy. "Hi. Ummm excuse me," she said. _Where the hell did that come from?_

Scene change, hotel room

"Do you think she's okay?"

"Beats me."

"You guys should care a little more."

"Neji. There's only one person here, me."

"I know. But do you think…she could be hurt?"

"Knowing her, she'll probably catch whatever's hurting her and try to turn it emo. But before she does that, she'll probably annoy the hell out of it and make it go crazy."

"That's my Tenten. _Sigh _That's why I love her."

"Dude, that's gross. She's ugly and weird as hell man. And troublesome," Shikamaru mumbled under his breath.

"Shut up. I can't believe I'm roommates with a lazy smart-ass."

"I can't believe I'm in the same room as pretty boy here."

And that's the part where Shikamaru and Neji get in a fight. Imagine it yourself.

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"Teme!"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you too! Believe it!"

"You're so mean. I'm going to sit in my emo corner."

"Ha! Tenten already took your emo corner!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Sasuke paced around the room, crying hysterically while Naruto laughed and pointed while shouting a "Believe it!" here and there.

Sakura sat next to Ino on the bed. "I can't believe Naruto gets to share a room with Sasuke! I want to share a room with him," Sakura whined.

"Shut up Sakura. That dream will never come. You wanna know why? Cause soon, I'll be sharing a room with him," Ino stuck out her tongue and giggled.

"Ino-pig!"

"Billboard-brow!"

Both girls growled at each other, pounced, then scratched each other till the death. Well, close to at least.

Chouji clasped his big, chubby fingers together, "Time to dig in!" Chouji screamed with enthusiasm. Then a door slammed open as Chouji was digging into his ribs.

"Yo, Choj-man. Everyone's going to the mall. You coming?" Neji asked, hidden in the doorway.

"Sure thang dude!" Chouji laughed as he rose from his chair, then came to a sudden halt. "Wait Neji."

"What?"

"There's gonna be food there, right?"

"You and your food. Duh, we're heading to the food court for dinner."

"Cool-lishish."

"Never say that again."

"Sure thang dog."

"Never say that again either."

Hinata looked at the clock, it was time for her ritual to begin. She pushed the pillows aside and stripped the covers off her bed. Taking a deep breath, she climbed onto her bed and started playing "I wanna Love you" by Akon. Then she started jumping up and down on her bed as the music rocked on. "Whoo!" She screamed.

Suddenly, the door squeaked open as an over-excited Naruto came in. "Hinata, le--."

He stared wide-eyed at a jumping Hinata whooping and screaming to the famous pop song.

Finally the music ended and Hinata fell on the bed, exhausted.

Naruto blinked.

Then Hinata sat up and looked at Naruto in frightened little puppy dog eyes. "My ribs!" She screamed in a Kentucky accent, "My ribs!"

Naruto still stood there in disbelief as Hinata cried out, "My ribs, Naruto! Them hurts!" (1)

Naruto, out of his trance, ran to Hinata's side and started to have a spaz attack. Finally Hinata started laughing, "I tricked you," she teased as she stuck her tongue out, "I tricked you good!"

Naruto giggled like a little girl, "Believe it!"

"So what were you saying?"

"Everyone's going to the mall again, you coming along?"

"Su-sure," Hinata murmured, switching back to her shy state.

Naruto pulled Hinata up, "Come on, let's hurry."

Hinata ran along with him, a deep red blush on her face.

"Ice, ice baby," Neji hummed while walking beside his teammates.

"Neji…are you okay?" Asked a concerned Sakura.

"Just fine!"

They reached the mall entrance but before they stepped in, Sakura and Ino checked their make-up, Chouji grabbed his bag of chips and started munching, Shikamaru yawned and scratched the back of his head lazily, Hinata fumbled with her fingers, Neji was still humming "Ice, Ice Baby" and Naruto was screaming at Sasuke while Sasuke was mumbling something about cutting himself and being emo again since Tenten was gone.

"Let's go people!" Sakura screamed when she was finished.

"Hai!"

"Believe it!"

In unison, they all walked slowly in the mall. A little kid pointed and shouted to his mother, "Look Mommy! Ugly lifeguards!"

His mother grabbed his hand and shook her head no, "Don't point." Then she took a second glance at Naruto and his friends and whispered to her son, "But you're right."

Hinata was dragged by a rushing Sakura and an angry Ino. "We're going to miss the sale!"

"Oh no we're not! The sale waits for us…," Sakura began, "cause we're gorgeous!" Sakura let go of Hinata's hand for a millisecond and struck a pose. Then she grabbed Hinata's hand again and pulled her to Juicy Couture.

Meanwhile, Chouji and Shikamaru were munching down at the food court. Between mouthfuls, Chouji would talk about what else he was going to eat and how he was going to eat it. Shikamaru, of course, didn't listen to a single word but instead, daydreamed about…clouds.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji walked together too. They all looked so preppy and cute 3. I love preppy boys D Naruto didn't wear his obnoxious yellow jumpsuit anymore but a smooth, soft jacket with a blouse under it. His hair was brushed but was still a messy clump of yellow. While Neji looked quite handsome himself. Just a plain blouse with a messily done tie. Nothing was tucked in but that was the way it was supposed to be. His hair wasn't tied in the very low ponytail it usually was in.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had the complete sense of prep. Suit, tie, blouse, pants duh, and the still messy hair. Sakura, for some reason, had not been as clingy as usual, Ino either.

Sasuke had noticed this but paid no real attention to it.

Instead, he focused on what he was going to be doing at the mall. 'Hmm…Naruto's loud, Neji's getting annoying and I'm…well, I'm too cool,' Sasuke thought.

"Oi teme, where to go now?" Naruto asked.

Broken from his thoughts, Sasuke glared at Naruto angrily, "Well, you should go to the dump, where you belong!"

"Yea, well…you should…go get a life! Believe it!"

Neji stared at the two arguing boys and just continued on to Hollister…

In the shadows of Hot Topic, a bun-bun girl was picking out a few outfits and a few…boxes of make-up. In a while, she came out blending in with the shadows--black. Black contacts, black hair, black nails, black clothes, and black make-up covered her whole body. She walked toward out the store, a man chasing her, yelling, "Hey you! You didn't pay! Get back here punk!"

But Tenten paid no attention to this man. After all, the chains were making so much noise that that was all she could hear.

She guessed where her love would be--the food court.

**Well, that was a long chapter. Review please. **

**(1): Inside joke in social studies class. LMFAO**


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